With eyes like Martin’s, who wouldn’t be a little nervous. Knowing him, there’s no knowing what he’ll try next. Gemma of the Mystery Lane series jokes about Will Matthews writing her into existence, and I begin to suspect not only did Fidget leap off the pages of the House of Bannerman series, but Herman came straight out of Hiding Treasure! We just call him Martin. He’s growing so fast, it’s astonishing. At six months old, he’s the size of most full grown cats. Lately he’s taken to observing the kitchen from the top of the cabinets, which is a little alarming. Again with the eyes, but also that wild black cloud of wispy hair all around his face. At least he’s got all his fur, and isn’t partially bald. He certainly was a sorry sight last week though, after knocking the screen off the cast iron skillet and skating through the cold wagyu grease waiting to be emptied. He managed to thoroughly coat his entire tail and back legs before scrambling out of the pan and onto the counter, then across the kitchen floor. Arctic leaped into action and went after the trail of grease, which made Martin angry. Apparently he wanted it, or at least wanted to inspect it. He managed to get onto the kitchen table, whereupon he reached down to try and whack Arctic on the head. But, his back feet no longer had any traction, so he tumbled off the table. He dug the claws of one front paw into the vinyl table cloth on the way over the edge, then the other, and pulled himself back onto the table, leaving yet another long trail of claw marks.

Despite the sorry state of the kitchen at that point, I was at least thankful 1) the grease wasn’t hot, and 2) I did not replace the table cloth earlier in the day as I intended. I used a paper towel to try and absorb as much of the grease off the cat as I could, getting an indignant epithet hurled at me for my troubles. He stormed off and began grooming himself violently. It was around midnight, and I was tired, so I wiped up the mess Arctic hadn’t already got to, and called it a day.

Perhaps Martin should have let Arctic tend to all the clean up, because judging by appearances the next morning, the dog did a better job on the kitchen floor than the cat did on his fur. Martin was a sorry sight! His plumy tail looked pitiful and stringy, and so did his hindquarters. He kicked and shook a leg every few steps, it apparently did not feel very nice. Em insisted he needed a bath. I was trepidatious after having bathed the cat once before. It was for his own good, but that didn’t make him grateful or cooperative, and he was bigger now, so… But, Em insisted, and I knew she was right. Not right enough to do it herself of course, and I guess having all her health issues is of some small benefit to her in that she has a good excuse to leave such chores to me. So I donned a long sleeved pullover and gloves, filled one tub with warm water and Dawn dish soap, filled a second with warm water, set both in her bathtub, and attempted to bathe the cat.

I learned a lot from that experience. Before trying such a thing again I’ll don snake chaps, welding gloves, a welding mask, and body armor. The cat will wear a straight jacket.

Martin’s none the worse for wear after his experience. His tail is nice and plumy again, and he’s no longer kicking in discomfort every few steps. I lost some blood during the transaction, but not enough to require a transfusion. Em wasn’t entirely unscathed herself. The cat clung to her after his escape, his long, skinny black arms clutched around her neck, desperate for his Upstairs Mom to save him from Downstairs Mom, who clearly lost her senses and tried to drown him. Which was a ridiculous exaggeration. I only tried to wash his back end, it was his mad dash out of the tub that resulted in soaking absolutely everyone. Upstairs Mom comforted him like it wasn’t all her idea.

While the next order of business is to finish Jack and Charlotte’s third book, Martin (aka Herman) may result in a sequel to Hiding Treasure. We shall see. I’ve had a story in mind for years, so it just may happen. But first, “Gone in a Flash”! I’m going over what I’ve already written and making a few adjustments, then will get down to finishing it. I’m praying it won’t be much longer, it’s been far too long already. In the meantime, happy reading!